July 2011
1 post
April 2011
4 posts
Watch
No one warns you about how it will feel when your first love marries someone else.
WitStream: Let's solve this women-in-comedy... →
witstream:
A couple of weeks ago, the South by Southwest Festival got into hot water for booking only one female comic out of 31 performers. This from an organization that prides itself on diversity. Organizers quickly apologized, pointing out that not many female comedians had submitted, and they tacked a…
March 2011
4 posts
February 2011
13 posts
Conversation at the bookstore with a dummy.
D: Do you work here?
T: Nope.
D: Oh, well I'm looking for Spanish cooking books but these are all in Spanish.
T: I guess they do that sometimes.
Date Night
tomyhusband:
Let’s smoke some high quality marijuana and watch Bedknobs & Broomsticks.
i can’t wait until something replaces tumblr.
over it.
see ya.
16 Sodas You Will Never Drink Again →
Drunk dude: you really have a beautiful nose.
Drunk me: thanks, it's my dad's.
"why do you have a diary?"
"I keep secrets from my computer"
The weather channel app takes blizzards very seriously.
“…BLIZZARD WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 3 PM THIS AFTERNOON TO 3 PM CST WEDNESDAY… A BLIZZARD WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 3 PM THIS AFTERNOON TO 3 PM CST WEDNESDAY. * TIMING…ACCUMULATING SNOW WILL DEVELOP AROUND THE INTERSTATE 80 CORRIDOR DURING THE EARLY TO MID AFTERNOON…SPREADING NORTH TO THE...
Clementine: Joel, I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were going to save me. Even after that.
Clementine: I know.
January 2011
22 posts
I think I’m in this exact same frame of mind...
1 tag
If I have children
I will make them a to do list:
01. Don’t be a jerk
02. Don’t take anyone for granted
03. Enjoy the moment
04. Be honest, always
05. Be humble
06. Don’t mix spite & kindness
07. Respect people’s wishes
08. Allow endings
09. Fail openly
10. Have an amazing haircut
jedna čtyři tři
μια τεσσερις τρεις
en fire tre
un quatre trois
один четыре триein
사분
un cuatro tres
143
duh.
and then there was the one who wrote this:
“Soft features.
I’m not even sure that’s a phrase people use, and if it is I’m not sure I’m using it correctly. I don’t know how to say it. Skin something like porcelain but soft like an apricot or Kleenex with lotion, and fucking-A, those eyes. What is that, sea foam? Like maybe they used to be blue, or green, and after an ocean of tears...
At Menards
I say "hi, where are your lanterns?"
She says nothing
I say "like for camping?"
She says nothing
I say "like a flashlight that stands up and is battery operated?"
She says "batteries are in aisle 9"
December 2010
30 posts
